ON THE OTHER SIDE OF ANYWAY

"How to Break Up with a Broke Mindset & Step into Abundance"

Paula Kouman Season 1 Episode 6

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"Sis, let’s be real—your bank account isn’t just numbers, it’s a reflection of your mindset. You might be making money moves, but if you're still thinking in lack, you’re blocking your own abundance. In this episode, we’re breaking up with that broke mentality once and for all. I’m diving into the hidden beliefs keeping you in financial cycles, how to shift from scarcity to overflow, and what it really takes to walk in abundance."

🎧 Listen now & DM me your biggest takeaway on IG: [@paulakouman]
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We’ll talk about:
✅ Recognizing the signs of a scarcity mindset
✅ How your past experiences shaped your money habits
✅ Practical steps to break free and walk in abundance

It’s time to stop avoiding your finances and start creating the prosperous life you were meant to live. Grab your financial journal and let’s get to work!

Uprooted & Transformed
Uprooted & Transformed – Break free from limiting beliefs & step into prosperity. 

Uprooted & Transformed
Uprooted & Transformed – Break free from limiting beliefs & step into prosperity. 


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Podcast Episode: Breaking Up with Your Broke Mentality

🎙 Hey You! "Welcome back to another episode of On the Other Side of Anyway—the podcast where purpose meets perseverance, and clarity fuels success. I’m your host, Paula K, and today, we’re talking about serving notice to those relationships that no longer serve you- like your broke mentality

Yeah, I said it, I know but don’t tune out sis, I promise if you stick it out to the end you’ll gain insights on your relationship with your money that’ll free you. All you have to do is open your mind and be ready to receive. Let’s get in to it

Matthew 25-34 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? (go read the rest for yourself)

"What if I told you that the real reason, you are not financially free is not because of the money you earn but is more about your relationship with money?"

Do me a favor, close your eyes and think back to a time when you were financial satisfied. What did that feel like? Now, Sit in those emotions for a second. No, sis I mean really think about it, I’ll give you a minute… tic toc ok what do you recall, were you happy and hopeful or happy and apprehensive? 

Happy and hopeful means your expectation were on, you were probably experiencing the freedom that comes with financial satisfaction as you define it. You most likely did not want that feeling to end… right? You were thinking, how could you hang to this feel or the money that made you feel secure. Although deep down you feared you couldn’t, so you decide to live in the moment and be free while you had the chance. You were not going to deprave yourself of anything. 

We know what that means a little spender bender or wreck-less spending.

OR

Did you recall feeling happy and apprehensive, which means you looked at money as this elusive thing that seemed out of reach or hard to come by. You recall being happy when you had it and fearful of not having so you held on tight so tight for as long as could. So tight you were afraid- with money in hand to pay bills when they are due. 

 Further damaging your financial situation.

So, If I ask you, are you having money problems?  Your answer would probably be…yes

If I ask, does your money problems have anything to with your money? Again I guess you would say absolutely.

To that I’d … No! Well, not entirely

 

The point is: hopeful or apprehensive it doesn’t matter, the real question is, what is it about your relationship money that has you constantly operating from a scarcity mindset.

A Scarcity mindset: is the belief that there’s never enough, which makes you fearful and reactive with your finances.

And we never want to be reactive with our money because this means you’re already lagging behind

So, How do you transform your thinking you start by 

 1st. Understand You: By getting to the root of why you and your money are not getting along 

2nd.   Understanding Money: As a social construct that you should view as the tool it is instead of the source to your happiness and wealth.

And 3rd  If you want to break up with your scarcity mindset you must admit it exist and submit to the doing what it takes to leave it behind for a better healthier relationship with your money; can you do that sis?

Alright then! Grab your financial journal and a pen Let’s kick open the door to freedom!

Let’s deal with YOU before we get to facts and figure: Now sis, write these questions down and after you finish listen to this episode… in its entirety of course get in a comfy spot with a warm drink and get real with yourself. 

1.     When did you and money start having problems? 

Think back to a time when money didn’t control you.  

I know what you’re thinking , that’s what makes it a social construct the value we place on it etc, etc- yeah I get it, but still there’s a difference in in money dictating what you can and cannot do because let’s face it if it cost money that you don’t have you can’t do it, point, blank period right. 

Yet, If funds were low and you didn’t let that keep you from a good time. Movie night at home alone or with friend, walks in the park or just hanging out with those you love.

But here’s the juxtaposition to that- is the  control  part- if,  because of your lack of money, you can’t go out and have a good time with friends or by yourself, or at the first of the month or bill time- you’re not in the mood to speak to anyone, your patience is short and you’re more likely to snap at someone for the simplest things. 

Or you are sometimes physically sick and just don’t want to deal with people or life. You’re being controlled by money.

Which one of these categories do you fit in- think about it and write it down.

2.     How far back did you go for the answer? This will help you determine where the seed was planted and better equip you with how to overcome it.

I talked about the seeds that we picked up from as far back as childhood as well as those we’ve planted ourselves from our life experiences in the episode title “If You Don’t Like The Fruit, Check The root”  I won’t go into details hear, so go and check out that episode. 

3.     How do you uproot the issue: This looks different when I know what the actual issue is, but let’s start here:

a.     Accept it- by letting go of the emotional attachment it has on your. Face all the feelings. Don’t run and don’t hide go through it sis. Speak it out loud give it a name and pray about and give it to God. Now don’t pick it up again, it’s forever finished.

b.     Move on- devise a action plan on doing the exact opposite of what got you here. It sounds elementary but everything doesn’t have to be rocket science. For so long you’ve been doing the same thing hoping it was the right thing to solve your problems. You’ve been habitual in doing the wrong thing, now sis, change you focus get the right information and whatever help you need, a money mentor or transformation strategist what/whoever you need and start building new habits.

c.     Plan- let’s face some people can walk through life by without ever put pen to paper on how they will do it, and then there’s people like you and me. We need a plan; my life doesn’t function without organization. You don’t have to manic about it, but you should tip the scale close to it.  Until you cleary state where you been and chart where you’re going -you’ll keep getting lost on the journey.  Chart the course sis! Layout what you want, how you will go about getting it and hop to it!

Now that we’ve handle YOU let’s get you to understanding your money as the tool it is!

 

How to recognize the signs of a scarcity mindset:

  • Avoidance:  Listen you can’t run, and you definitely cannot hide. Not checking your bank account or opening your mail will not make your financial obligation disappear into debt oblivion. 

In the beginning it can be overwhelming but if you want a different result you have to take a different approach. 

So, let’s face you’re your fears and access the damage.

4.     What does your money look like right now, do you know your numbers? Answer the following: 

a.     What is your net income- what hits your palms or your account. I can’t tell you how many times a client has said I don’t know... around X I can’t be sure because it’s direct deposited. Now I’m not trying to call anyone out but let me call you out that should never be an answer not knowing how much money you’re paid if the first step to financial frustration and an overdrawn account... seriously in 2025- and don’t get me wrong this is not judgement- this is the unfiltered road to financial freedom. Stay on it sis.

b.     What’s the total amount of your expenses and debts- you know where I’m going with this right- so do the math… is it math-ing?

 

Use these numbers to understand your money and apply it to the basic principles of money- let me say it plainly- if you have more expenses and debt still left to pay and no money to fill the spot. Then is something to address later but it’s not the issue at hand- but remember what I said at the opening of this episode- that money was not the reason for your lack of financial freedom, I stand by that, let me prove it- 

Our relationship with our money stem from how we were raised and life’s lessons taught to us through the actions we take. For example, when you find yourself in a situation where you don’t have money to take care of lifestyle, the way you handle the situation leaves a stain. 

For example- If you borrowed from Peter to pay Paul as it’s said, which simply means taking money allocated to expense to pay another- that’s a stain. Or when you’re tired of doing that and decide you’re going to treat yourself and spend said money on you, you deserve it right-because you work hard- that’s a stain. 

This behavior creates a cycle you repeat over and over- or should I say creates a habit. Your habits stem from your beliefs which is your mindset or thoughts on how to treat your money.

Sis, this is what I mean, until you break up with your broke mentality it does not matter how much money you earn because money is not the problem.

 

Have you ever heard of the windfall curse- it’s when someone comes into a large sum of money and find themselves in a short period of time broke again.

I had a client once that got a large inheritance let’s call her Gina. Gina inherited just a little over a million dollars and was referred to me by a past client to help her buy a home for herself and a couple investments properties.  She was adamant about not blowing her money as she had never in her life had that much money and she never wanted to be broke again.

At our initial consultation, as I do with all my client, I tried to educate Gina on money and real estate investing. I felt for her and I too did not want to see her go back to the life she had before her windfall. We created a modest Wishlist, though still grand for where she was living at that time. She was thinking rationally and seemed to understand and accept the advice I gave her.

As we began searching for her a home, her wish list grew. Every time Gina saw something on TV or just so happened by at an open house, she would add something to her wish list. I would caution her when I could, but I had to keep in my what my role was in all this was so as to not overstep. I treaded lightly and nudge gingerly. My job is always to give my clients my professional advice, and at the end of the day it’s their decision.

In Gina’s original plan she would buy a home for herself spending no more than 300k and she would purchase two investment properties that she would hold to get what I call mailbox money every month. All in all, she would not spend over 500k.

By the time we found the perfect house for Gina, her mind set had completely shifted and her language then became. I want to get what I want because I will never have this kind of money again so I’m going to take full advantage of this chance and buy my dream home. I deserve and my mother would want me to be happy. 

I knew at that moment it wouldn’t be long before Gina would find herself right back to broke. Needless to say, Gina purchased a 500k home for herself and one investment along with other luxuries like a new off the showroom floor car, designer handbags and yes unfortunately in under 3 years she was not only right back to broke, now she has problems that come along with having had a million dollars. And contacted me looking for another windfall by selling her dream home as the market was certainly in her favor. Selling her home would put Gina right back at almost 500k in her pocket.  All I thought is the cycle continues, because Gina had yet to work on herself and her relationship with money.

This happens so often they gave it a name. This is why I believe most people’s financial problem has nothing to do with how much money they earn and more about their mindset around their relationship with money.

 

 So Let’s recap: How to break up with broke and walk in abundance

1.      Understand You: By getting to the root of why you and your money are not getting along 

2.       Understanding Money: As a social construct that you should view as the tool it is instead of      the source to your happiness and wealth.

3.     Recognize the signs of a scarcity mindset

a.     Avoidance

b.     Poor money management

c.     Emotional stress

How to change your mindset to abundance

1.     Identify the root, the seeds that were left or that you created

2.     Release them by accepting the fact they exist working through the problem, let them go and 

3.     Create an action plan to build new habits focused on abundant living

4.     Find a money mentor or transformation strategist like myself . Sometimes we need someone to help us see things we can't. Having someone who can guide you through financial literacy and wealth-building is key.

5.      

If I could leave you with this Give yourself grace. Stop beating yourself up for past mistakes. Minds are made to be changed and healed through transformation of your beliefs.  Do it now sis because time is such a precious commodity with a cost too high to waste. waste"_

 

"If you're ready to take this transformation to the next level, I want to invite you to join me in my ‘Unlearn to Earn’ program, where we break free from limiting beliefs in every area of your life, including your finances. Or, if you feel like you need more one-on-one support, let’s have a conversation. I’d love to help you get started on your journey toward real freedom."

Visit my website- details in the show notes.


"If this message resonated with you, don’t keep it to yourself. Share this episode with a friend or family member struggling with scarcity and are ready to break up with their broke mentality.

Follow the podcast so you’re notified when the next episode drops and leave a review—your feedback helps this podcast reach more women who are ready to thrive. Check the show notes for details on how you can connect with me I would love to support you on your journey.

 Remember: the more it scares you, the harder you go. If it doesn’t scare you—girl, you’re going the wrong way. Until next time, stay bold, stay faithful, and keep pushing to the other side of anyway!"